2023 in the books
a few end-of-the-year reflections, lessons learned, and goals accomplished (and not accomplished).
There was a few years from 2019 to possibly 2022 when most of my goals revolved around working on my character and my personal habits. But I wouldn’t dare set any goals that had to do with personal projects, or working on something outside of myself. Truthfully, I don’t think I could’ve set any of those goals because I don’t think I really knew what I wanted.
I dedicated most of this year to exploring what it would be like to volunteer at a Marine Ecology lab, to help with field work aboard a research vessel, and making videos and taking photos using any and all camera gear I had available. I challenged myself to train and run a marathon, and I let go of many hobbies that while fulfilling, simply didn’t fit my schedule.
I think it used to be hard to say no to new opportunities or hobbies or hanging out with friends, because I didn’t really think I had something more important or pressing to do. It’s finally starting to feel like there’s something worth saying no to other things for. It’s never been easy for me knowing what I want, because I kind of want it all. So it’s comforting to feel right now like something’s standing out from all the noise.
When I think about this year, it doesn’t have the aesthetic appeal to it that 2022 had. I spent less time traveling, most of the first 6 months running, and most of the last 6 months scanning seaweed pressings, or writing, or editing, or reading. There were far fewer intense highs and intense lows, but I think I’ve started to appreciate the slow burn of a steady life, of moments that are not immediately rewarding, but deeply purposeful.
So, in this post I wanted to reflect on lessons learned and some of my goals, which for 2023 were some of the most vague I’ve set, but were surprisingly fulfilling to meet.
Plan my own group trips to the outdoors. Something about solo trips has always been rewarding to me in that I have control of what I do and who I see. But seeing groups of friends plan trips successfully always left me wanting to experience that sense of community with familiar people as well. This year I challenged myself to plan all the trips I’d dreamed of doing, and instead of just escaping by myself, bringing some of my loved ones and whoever wanted to join. I planned a cross-country 10 day trip in Panama, a 3-day 30 mile backpacking trip in Yosemite, and smaller snowboarding trips with friends! I became aware of my feeling of fear and responsibility over people having a good time, and I decided not to let that get in the way of sharing my life with others. Even when things did get a little off-track, it was good to be around friends to laugh with. I learned so much about myself in taking the initiative to start trips, I appreciated people who planned trips much more, and I also built a little more courage to keep doing it myself.
Eating healthy (1600-1800 calories) + plant-based. I’ve talked a bit more about my nutrition experience in this post, but my eating habits this year changed drastically and I’m super proud! I tracked my calories and macronutrients for roughly half this year, averaging 1900 calories a day and 100g of (mostly) plant-based food (occasionally I eat sustainable salmon and sardines). I lost 15 lbs this year that I’d gained after a breakup, and I feel the fittest I’ve ever felt!
Spending money wisely. I’ve also talked a bit about my experience with money in this post. But I really challenged myself to live well below my means this year to detach my sense of happiness from my income. I’ve been really happy with the results, and managed to sustain a pretty fulfilling lifestyle using only half my income, and saving/investing the rest.
Training for a marathon (+ triathlons). I ran my first marathon as I’d planned for this year! I also ran 2 half marathons (and am 52 seconds away from running a sub-2 half!), and 3 triathlons (I placed 4th in my age group for one!). It’s been so fun doing this and joining SD’s tri-community. My favorite races are the ones where my friends come support and we get food afterwards.
Journaling to have a clear mind. I have done more writing this year than most other years in my life. While not everything made it to the public (as it should be), I’ve also averaged 2 posts a month in my Substack this year, and I’m extremely proud of the consistency I’m starting to build.
Reading + writing about my reflections. I read 15 books this year! That’s more than I’ve read in a while, and I hope to keep reading even more! I still need to get better at writing about what I read, as I think that helps cement some of the information. Perhaps next year I’ll try making videos about it.
Taking notes on therapy and using those skills effectively. This year I finished my DBT program and it was probably one of the best investments I’ve recently made on myself. I purchased the same book my therapists use to teach us our DBT skills so I could come to each skill class prepared with questions. I really should sit down and write a bit about my experience (I still have it on my drafts hehe).
Learning about the ocean: reach out to labs at Scripps and volunteer in one I like. One of my main goals this year was to get some lab and field work experience in Marine Ecology. I look back and think of all the opportunities I’ve been granted in the last 10 months, from living in a boat for a month to presenting my first poster at a symposium, and it makes me smile. Often this year, I felt like I was taking steps to get nowhere, but it does feel like things are finally lining up.
Practicing a different language. Ok, this year I definitely took Duolingo more seriously than any other year (though I do feel that whenever I use Duolingo to fulfill my language-learning desire, I rob myself from better mediums). Either way, I did about 100 days of Japanese this year! For a trip that never happened (lol), but hopefully next year.
Doing something artsy. This year I finally took the leap of faith and got into photography and film! I audited a photography course at UCSD (after which the professor sent me a very thoughtful message for being such a great contribution 🥲). I finished 3 photographic series that I’m very happy with, and that I’ll hopefully be able to share in a portfolio soon.
Have a consistent skin care routine. I slacked a little on my skin routine on 2022, so I was committed to getting back on track this year, and I did! I don’t even question it any morning or night, it’s just a part of my day.
Have good sleeping habits, sleep 8 hours, and not use my phone at night. This one has been particularly difficult but I’m SO proud. I’ve gotten up at 6am every morning since late November and it’s made my days SIGNIFICANTLY better. It also means I have to be in bed by 10:30p at the latest, so knowing I have a limited amount of time during the day to get things done has actually improved my time management skills. I’ve also started using a second phone where I store all photos and social media accounts. This way, I don’t absent-mindedly browse social media on my main phone when I have nothing to do. It helps me browse social media as a creator instead of a consumer, because I only log in when I’m posting something or looking for something specifically.
Make my own meals, spend more time planning my meals for the week and buying groceries responsibly. Spend less and cook more. I’m not even sure I enjoy eating out as much anymore. I feel more comfortable with the ingredients and food I make (or rather, Ethan makes) and I’ve built such a healthy relationship with my eating. It’s helped me save a lot of money but more importantly, it helps me be in a better mood!
Have a morning routine, practice gratitude and meditation in the morning. Unwind at night. I have meditated every morning for the last two months! And I can’t stress how much it’s helped set my clarity for the day. I’d tried for many years to make it a part of my routine, but 30 minutes, 15 minutes, even 10 was too much to commit to. I’ve started with 5 minutes and I’ll probably keep it up for a year before I increase it any more, but 5 minutes is definitely better than none at all. I’ve accompanied each meditation with writing 3 things I’m thankful for everyday (which I wrote about on this post), and a few rounds of sun salutations to awaken my body. I give myself 15 minutes every morning to go through this routine and it helps me start the day feeling wide awake and clearheaded.
Become a rescue diver. Try free diving. My goal for this year was to become a rescue diver, so I’m pretty happy that not only did I do that, but that I’m almost done with my Divemaster training! I anticipate I’ll be done before March, and I’ll be guiding my own dives in no time! (And no I didn’t do any free diving but I definitely will this upcoming year).
Start a book club! Ever since I started working as a full-time employee, I’ve stopped networking as much as I used to. I think it used to give my work a lot of meaning and community, and I’d also like to stay aware of new UX techniques. So I started a UX writing book club that has been going since about April! We’ve read 3 books so far, which is more than I would’ve read by myself. Community building had always been something I enjoyed doing during college, so I’m glad I was able to do it again.
Plus, a short overview of some measurable goals from this year:
Books read: 15 books (Goal, 30)
Miles ran: 400 miles (Goal, 500mi)
Miles biked: 150 miles (Goal, 1000mi)
Miles swam: 6 miles (Goal, 50mi)
Though I didn’t meet any of these last goals, I do have to say I pulled all this starting numbers out of thin air just to have something to aim for. Now that I have more real numbers, I’m excited to come up with more accomplishable goals for next year.
As the year comes to an end, I can’t help but notice and need to address thematical patterns in my last year of writing, and though I’ve tried to make most weekly essays different to each other and in line with what I’m currently reflecting on, I also feel they’re mostly about the same thing.
I named this newsletter “Nomad Nicole” because the name has always encapsulated my self-assessed identity of someone unsettled, unresting, and always exploring, learning, and yearning for more. “Nomad” usually refers to someone who is constantly moving locations. Curiously, though, I started this newsletter almost in parallel with starting my first lease on a house, a house I’m still living in, almost two years later, from where I haven’t really moved much.
So, I realize now that most of my essays have been an attempt to make sense of the cognitive dissonance between what I’m doing versus who I see myself as wanting to be. But the thought I’ve been entertaining lately is that maybe there is no dissonance, maybe the things I’m doing are the things I’ve wanted to do, and maybe the things I want to do now just take longer to show any rewards.
I’ve had a lot of great adventures in the past few years: very exciting, instagrammable, coming-of-age-esque adventures. But after a bit, it felt as though I was burning matches for light; each match individually illuminating, but short-lasting and unsustainable. Each demanding I looked for a new source of light within seconds, and leaving me right back where I'd started.
This year was tough in that few days were particularly exhilarating, and most required my pushing through my own intrusive thoughts to stay consistent. But I’ve also not felt this much reward come the end of the year in so long — to see every day add up to a fulfilling year.
So, I’m looking forward to these upcoming years, and the projects and goals that will keep a longer light burning. I’ve exhausted my matches at least for now, and I’m curious to embrace the slow burn.
Happy new year and thanks for sticking around. May 2024 bring you joy and peace.
Much love,
Nicole🌊
Some stuff worth sharing🎉
These are usually not self-promo’s BUT: I POSTED MY FIRST YOUTUBE VIDEO AND I’M PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT IT! I’m not trying to be a youtuber but I do want to document my filmography journey, so this is pretty exciting. Go watch and subscribe if you want to follow me there too!
Books 1 and 4 from this list heavily resonated with me, so I thought I’d share this list with anyone interested.
I come back to this video a lot and I think it’s one of the most exciting things I’ve stumbled upon. I’ve recently been reading David Attenborough’s A Life on our Planet: My Witness Statement and a Vision for the Future, and I can’t help but wonder how cool it’d be to have more documentaries that specifically talk about species’ umwelt and how they perceive the world around them.
I loved reading an excerpt of this book. Essentially this man is a cartographer and mathematician who spends most of his life mapping a coastal area in Ireland. In short he finds that, as you continue to break a part of the land down into smaller, more measurable units, it becomes infinitely larger and impossible to ever measure. He could’ve never mapped this coast completely because there would have always been something he’d miss, and yet he made it his life’s mission to map everything that was special to him.
“Every remark suggests amplifications and amendments, every thesis, critiques and refutations; this fractal nature of intertextuality is the clue to the way the text itself sits into the fractals of non-textual reality. To be true to the nature of fractals, I should go on indefinitely, but in this world of practicalities, I must at this point abandon the tangled tale.”
A Connemara Fractal, Tim Robinson
🙏🏽Thank you to all the people who read my blog, whether you tell me or not that you do (and when you do tell me, it means so much to me). Thank you for coming along on my journey. :)